Marvelous McConnells

great talk by woman who was unschooled

2010-03-06T12:21:00.001-07:00

I really enjoyed this talk. I have to admit, that i love the fact that this formerly unschooled woman is brilliant! more importantly, though, it really reminded me to let go of this idea that attending a prestigious university is the ultimate goal. i was still hanging on to the notion that this was the ideal and even use examples of homeschooled kids attending ivy leagues to defend my choice to unschool. when i started to consider homeschooling, i thought that, of course, my kids will attend college! now, i see it as a choice, not a good or bad one. i just want them to follow their passions and be happy. but for me, it's all about the deschooling, baby!

how do you know they are learning?

2010-02-05T00:52:00.000-07:00

i just realized that i have almost completely forgotten my need to prove that my kids are learning. now it seems so silly to even consider them not learning. i can't stop them! it does still amaze me to think about all that they do in a day. i love watching them freely choose activities and watching their flow.

for the past week patrick has been doing a puzzle of the united states that his grandparents sent. he does it while he waits for me to get ready for an outing, while i make breakfast, or at any other transition period during the day. during these times, he will also stand at our map of the united states and call out, "give me a state!" when i can't see what state he points to as his answer, he spells it for me. he came up with this game on his own.

i never really had any major fears about my kids learning what they "need" to learn because there is no school subject they do need to learn. it's pretty simple. i get a tad bit angry when i think about all of the useless information i crammed into my brain. what a waste. why not use that brain power for something you are passionate about learning?

patrick and liam sing tomorrow

2010-01-31T14:53:00.004-07:00

our first ever you tube videos! i just had to get them singing this song. after a month of annie, they seem to be heading back to a star wars phase, though. yesterday, they were dressed up as obi wan and darth vader fighting with lightsabers while singing annie songs.

our afternoon

2010-01-28T22:51:00.000-07:00

thought i would post some pictures from this afternoon since i got some fun ones. i am still trying to figure out how to format pictures on blogger so please be patient with me.

we spent several hours outside, our first sunny day in a long time! we played with the chickens and goats and dug for a lost sock in the muck. early last week, the kids took a mud bath in a puddle by the driveway and liam lost a sock. they got all of their shovels from the barn in order to dig around for the sock. i thought it was a lost cause, but amazingly, they found it in about 10 minutes!

i also took some photos of our rental house and property. i feel so grateful to be here! it's a gorgeous spot!

a day in the life

2010-01-26T00:37:00.000-07:00

part of the deschooling process for me has been to let go of this fear that i am not doing unschooling right or that i should be doing something more structured or perhaps more meaningful during the day with my kids. my experience of life before unschooling was that much of my day was planned for me. this gave me the false sense of purpose. all of this free time now is making me a bit nervous!

today i thought i would share "a day in the life" of the mcconnell family. got this idea from my boulder homeschooling yahoo group. i love reading about the days of other unschooling families so i thought i would post mine here as a regular feature.

8:00 am- wake up. cuddle in bed, make beds, boys get dressed

8:30am-downstairs to make breakfast. bacon, eggs, toast, coffee, and kombucha. the boys help with breakfast.

9:45am-outside to take care of the chickens. we play in the rain and the muck for a while and then head back inside.

10:30am-make our "chicken books" on snapfish. the boys got a camera for their birthdays, and we have been working on a project compiling pictures and information about chickens. we had been reading a few books about chickens, plus looking up information online. we all decided that we wanted to create our own "chicken book!" each of the boys made their own book selecting photos from the hundreds we had taken.

noon- make lunch, boys sword fighting

12:30pm-eat ham and cheese sandwiches, raw milk and egg smoothies, apples

1-2pm--clean up a bit around the house while kids play marble whacker. we then put together foam airplanes and paint them with acrylic paints.

2pm-nurse claire to sleep. can't believe she has not slept at all yet!

2pm-4pm- boys and i play dominoes, drink tea, have snacks. i go up to claire 2x while she sleeps to nurse her back to sleep! while i am upstairs with her, the boys make their own snacks. then they decorate the house with toilet paper rolls hanging from the string on the blinds. plus they have toilet paper roll fights. i read and nap a bit!

4pm- we play pirates.

4:30pm-start making dinner. chicken soup w/ veggies. liam and patrick help.

5:20pm-we all go outside to lock up the coop.

5:30-6:30pm-liam and i do an activity book while patrick plays with claire. matt comes home.

7pm-dinner

7:30-9pm-treasure hunt, uno, and story time

9:46-? computer time for mama!

good night!

rainy days

2010-01-23T12:49:00.008-07:00

we played indoors most of the week enjoying new toys and games we had gotten for christmas and the boys' birthdays.

liam gave us a lesson on how to use the bow and arrow which was a gift from aimee. he has been quietly practicing with it and teaching himself to use it since christmas and has declared himself an expert. patrick and i are getting better with his guidance and boy does he love guiding us.

we also made gluten free play dough this week with a recipe i found on the internet. so exciting to make such a great dough that is gluten free. here is the recipe i used:

1/2 cup rice flour
1/2 cup organic corn starch (no GMO's here!)
1/2 cup sea salt
2 tsp cream of tarter
1 tsp olive oil
1 cup water
vegetable dyes

for the holidays, my friend who has this business, www.aromaessencesbykarin.com, gave us doughs made with vegetable dyes and essential oils. we all loved them and tried to replicate what she had made for us. they are so wonderful! the colors, scents, and texture. wish i took better photos, but maybe next time.

annie

2010-01-21T00:41:00.002-07:00

we have been singing songs from Annie, the Musical for about 2 weeks now. liam and patrick watched the movie one or two times, watched a bunch of you tube videos of all sorts of productions of Annie, and have been listening to the soundtrack from the original broadway show. we also have the sound track to the lion king, but they are all about annie. i have really worked hard not to crack up while they are performing for me. they are too cute! and gosh my throat is sore and i can't get those songs out of my head! here are a few photos of patrick singing (he wanted me to take them). video coming shortly.

grocery shopping

2010-01-17T23:02:00.002-07:00

my kids love to grocery shop. i don't necessarily relish shopping with all three, but it does happen every once in a while--picture me rushing through the store with claire in a back pack for as long as i can keep her there because if she's not in it, she's either standing in the cart or running through the isles grabbing food from the shelves, and the boys hanging off of the cart making lots of loud, happy noises and as always asking a million questions. by the end of most trips, someone tells me, "boy, you have your hands full!" and those customer service oriented Whole Foods clerks are rushing to help me get my food unloaded and packed up as quickly as possible!

matt doesn't mind, though, and often takes them to the store. i try to discourage it because it just seems like it would be boring especially when they could be playing at home or having some one on one time with me:) they don't go for treats either. they went through a phase when they asked for foods we wouldn't normally buy, and we often did experiment with new foods, but now they don't really asks. they love to spend time with matt, like to be out and about, and truly like to help out.

we have always taken them to the store with us. i remember back in minneapolis, matt and the boys would often run out to our local coop which was a few miles away. they went often and had fun together. they would order a green drink from the juice bar and sit in a little kids area that had small tables and play food. so sweet and so nice for mama to have some time to herself!

family movie night

2010-01-17T00:39:00.004-07:00

it's so nice not to have much scheduled this weekend. a soccer practice, trip to the farmer's market and a quick open house tour in our search to find the perfect home for our family here in sonoma county.

we had our first family movie night tonight. i have looked forward to having these become a family tradition, but had not wanted to encourage screen time in any form either. liam had asked to watch a video, and I suggested that we find one that everyone would enjoy. we don't have a television, but do have our lap top and a netflix account. there isn't a great selection of kid friendly movies available to play on the computer, but we decided on Air Bud: Golden Retriever. We all huddled together on our tiny couch covered with blankets made my Grandma Melanie. Very cozy. Liam and Patrick were so thrilled to be watching a movie as a family. I stopped scolding myself for introducing the idea as soon as I saw their joy.

I have known how important it was for them to share television shows or movies with me, but honestly, i have always used the minimal amount of time they spend watching to clean the house or cook a meal. I remember as a kid wanting to share my favorite shows with my parents or relatives. i still love "sharing" a show or movie with friends and family. the communal aspect of watching together can be a way to connect doing something that could potentially be a source of disconnection.

park day

2010-01-16T15:11:00.004-07:00

on fridays, we hang out with a group of homeschoolers for several hours at a local park. one nice thing about living in california is that we can do this year round. park days seem to be a common homeschooling activity across the country. we attended them in minnesota and colorado as well. i remember when we first started going, i couldn't believe how long families would stay at the park for our gatherings. i could barely stay longer than an hour. when i was a new mom, i still had the urge to be "productive." ha, ha! as if parenting and forming and building close relationships outside in nature is not productive. now i can stay at a park for hours, chatting with moms and dads and watching my kids play happily with other kids of all ages. it's free play at it's best here in our sebastopol park. the playground equipment is not the draw. it's the sandpit, meadows, and beautiful oaks that call to them.

here goes!

2010-01-15T01:17:00.003-07:00

i have been hemming and hawing about what the heck to do with this blog. mostly, i am wanting to write as a creative outlet and as a way to record our lives as unschoolers. i like sharing pictures of our family with friends and extended family, but i guess that's what facebook is for. so i have decided that this blog will be about our family's unschooling journey.

at least someone loves to clean!

2009-04-18T00:24:00.003-06:00

I am lovin' the rain!

2009-04-18T00:16:00.004-06:00

I love Boulder, but gosh, it is so dry here. We all have enjoyed the rain over the past few days and today the snow!

Easter

2009-04-17T23:56:00.007-06:00

spring is here and so are the chicks

2009-04-17T22:57:00.009-06:00

all in a day's play

2009-04-17T22:23:00.006-06:00

I have been marveling lately at all my boys do in a day. it is so amazing to me. their creativity is just boundless and the joy they experience over the simplest activity is such a gift to me. I also love how our days flow so easily and how flexible they are. Without busy and rigid schedules we are so open to what is happening in the moment, and I love that.

hangin' with my brothers

2009-04-17T21:51:00.004-06:00

claire will probably be walking in a month or so in order to keep up with her brothers. what a different life it is for a younger sibling! liam and patrick only had me for company and were glued to me, but Claire is counting the days when she can keep up w/ the boys. personality difference and my more relaxed attitude certainly are factors as well, but oh, how I long for the tribe sometimes!

fishing

2009-04-17T21:39:00.003-06:00

the boys have been fishing with matt a few times this spring and are getting pretty good at casting. i am so grateful for the time matt has been able to spend with the kids over the last few months.

haircut?

2009-04-17T21:36:00.001-06:00

food on the brain--intial ramblings on the subject

2009-02-14T15:48:00.004-07:00

i have also been thinking a lot about this whole radical unschooling idea of allowing kids complete freedom in choosing their foods. part of this unschooling approach is the idea that people will crave or gravitate towards anything that is monitored or restricted, plus they will never learn to self-regulate in these areas. so if there are no restrictions or hang-ups around food, kids will eventually be able find which foods work best for them and therefore develop a much healthier relationship with food.

so far i have been able to get away with controlling my kids' diet without the illusion of control, although i suspect that they energetically pick up on this nonetheless. the boys, though, will eventually become much more aware of their options and i am not sure what i will do.

My plan right now is to talk about why I make the food choices I do and have conversations about it. but in doing this, i do not want to make them fearful of particular foods or feel guilty when they eat foods i wouldn't necessarily want them to eat. i try to keep my tone light and explain that everyone has different thoughts about which foods are best to eat.

One hitch is that I have been reading some literature about the science of the brain, and from what I have been reading, I believe that before the age of 7 (generally), children don't have the capability of critical thinking and/or it's not healthy to encourage children to use this part of their brains until they are more developed. so according to this research (The Magical Child by Joseph Chilton Pearce), it's important to foster creativity and imagination rather than explaining literally how things work.

So, I just don't believe that young children have the capability of discerning at a certain level whether or not they want to take the risk of eating certain foods. They cannot understand the long term damage these foods can cause. So isn't it my job as a parent, to help my kids make healthier choices when it comes to food?

On the other hand, I wouldn't have to ask them to actually be able to understand rationally why I don't want them to eat certain foods, but intuitively, they would make healthier choices if my restrictions were not imposed on them. Trusting them in this way would allow me to let go of any hang ups I have. It's *just* that step towards ultimate trust that I would need to take.

After all, this is only my perspective about which foods are healthy and which foods are not. I have plenty of friends who are vegan and vegetarian who eat pretty much the opposite of the way I eat. Whose to say that their diets are not healthier ones?

Another issue I see here, though, is the highly addictive quality of unhealthy foods. Would an emotionally healthy child be able to avoid this type of addiction? Wouldn't that food that could potentially cause emotional disturbances and psychological problems impair the child's ability to make a healthy decision?

Gluten Free, again

2009-02-14T15:16:00.005-07:00

About 5 years ago, when I was trying to conceive, I found out that I was gluten intolerant. The only time that I gave up gluten containing foods was just prior to getting pregnant with the boys and during my pregnancy (although I did cheat pretty often!). I have a few nagging health problems today--mostly just low energy and a need for a lot of sleep at night, never really waking refreshed. I also do worry that my mostly silent gluten intolerance may one day manifest as a serious condition. essentially, the inability to process gluten impairs our body's ability to utilize nutrients in the diet and rogue gluten proteins can also create other autoimmune conditions as well. I thought that once and for all, I will truly go gluten free and see if I feel any better.

For the past few years, I have avoided gluten as much as possible. The foods we eat revolve more around meats, dairy, veggies and fruits, and healthy oils. We eat rice pastas and gluten free oats, but I have used spelt and wheat for making breads, muffins, and pancakes. I do, however, properly prepare these by soaking, sprouting, or using a sourdough starter. While these methods neutralize many of the toxins found in grains, they also reduce the amount of gluten.

A few interesting articles to read on this subject would be www.westonaprice.org/foodfeatures/be_kind.html and www.westonaprice.org/moderndiseases/gluten-intolerance.html.

Gluten intolerance is a largely undiagnosed problem today. I guess I am writing this post mostly because if there is anyone out there plagued by any sort of health problem whether physical or psychological, I strongly suggest doing some research on gluten intolerance to see if your condition is connected to gluten.

I have seen gluten intolerance connected w/ infertility, miscaariage, thyroid disorders, migraines, all digestive complaints, autoimmune conditions, depression, bi-polar disorder, skin conditions, and cancer, just to name a few conditions off the top of my head.

Even after a few weeks of gluten free living, I am feeling that I have more energy when I wake up in the morning and will report back after several months of eating this way.

in the past, i could never manage this diet because i was so addicted to gluten grains. now it seems much more manageable. the foods i have a weakness for are homemade baked goods and pizza, but before i undertook this diet again, i made sure i had a gluten free recipe for these. at some point i will post the recipes.i also have a hard time while eating out, but since we are on a serious budget these days, we don't eat out anymore.

by the way, the best way to test for gluten sensitivity is to order the test from entero lab at www.finerhealth.com. blood tests are not reliable indicators.

reevaluating mealtmes

2009-02-14T12:45:00.006-07:00

Several months back a friend mentioned that she only cooked one meal per day and that her family snacked on the leftovers for the rest of the day when they were hungry. A light bulb went off. Eating healthfully has been a part of my life now for a while, and now it seems I may have gone overboard preparing a different healthy meal three times a day for 4 people. No wondered I am stressed out.

I think one reason I am embracing this new lifestyle is that I now have a different relationship with food. I still look forward to meals, but not with the same passion (or addiction) that I used to. I think meals used to be the highlight of my day. Now I see them more as a way to stay nourished and healthy and while I enjoy eating, I no longer view eating as entertainment or a way to fill any voids in my life (well, for the most part--it's a journey).

So for the last few weeks, I have been a lot more organized when it comes to meal planning and preparation. I create a list of potential meals and a grocery list on saturdays. My meals are mostly soups loaded w/ beans, veggies, meats in a rich beef, chicken, lamb or fish broth or some sort of crock pot dish. I am making 2 kinds of broth every week and a half or so. I have this meal on the stove the whole day and for several days most of the time(if we get tired of it, i can freeze it), and I also keep out a plate of cheeses, nuts/seeds, fruit slices, and kombucha on the table for us to snack on if we get hungry. I also keep US Wellness Meats prepared meats such as jerky, beef sticks,pemmican, liverwurst, and head cheese in a low drawer in the refrigerator and a jar of milk and kefir where the boys can easily get to them. I am hoping that the boys will now take a bit more responsibility with their food and become more self aware about when they need some nourishment during the day.

At this point, I am also still making breakfasts, although I have the idea to phase this out as well or at least prepare a larger batch of bacon or sausage at the beginning of the week and some hard boiled eggs. I am starting to do this w/ potatoes, pancakes and breads right now--making enough to last for several breakfasts and for ohter meals and snacks. So maybe then I would only make a smoothie every morning and just reheat already prepared foods in our steam oven for the rest of the breakfast meal.

Not only do I appreciate this way of eating for its convenience and the fact that it's allowing my kids to self-regulate their food intake, I also would love to move towards consuming food during an even shorter period of the day. The concept of the "fast-5" diet is really intriguing to me because I think it could be super healthy for regulating insulin, weight, food cravings and digestion (which obviously all go hand in hand). For more info there is a free download at www.fast-five.com. essentially while following this diet, one would only eat during a 5 hour period every day. i actually followed a version of it, called the warrior diet, as an experiment several years ago. i thought that i would hate it, but it was great! i had so much more energy because my body didn't have to digest food all day long.

so I guess I am coming full circle from a diet of unhealthy convenience foods to healthy and convenient food.

snack recipe

2009-02-14T12:36:00.004-07:00

i can't think of anything more creative than that title! cocoa nut seed balls just didn't sound very tasty. anyhow, i made these high energy snacks yesterday and they were--emphasis on "were"--really tasty. I want to come up w/ several more combinations and have them on hand when the kids are on the go, which is mostly 24/7, so i guess they will be eating these all day.

soaked and dehydrated walnuts
dates
honey
raw cocoa powder
coconut oil
vanilla
sesame seeds (next time I will soak the seeds!)
flax seeds
bananas

mix all ingredients in a food processor. i placed the batter in mounds in my dehydrator and dried until i could easily pick one up without getting a sticky mess on my hands. yum! only glitch seems to be that I thought they would be so dense that i only would need one or two for a snack, but instead i ate 1/2 in one sitting.

another video about childbirth

2009-01-24T12:56:00.003-07:00

i really liked this video that I found on the unassisted birth web site. patrick wanted to watch a birth and this is what we found. then, unfortunately, i discovered that he was looking to watch a video of the birth of Claire, but we don't have any video because it all happened so fast. the boys had planned on being there for her birth, but when i went into labor, i really wanted to be alone and they really wanted to go to the park with Eli! I wish it could have worked out differently, but that's just the way it went.

Gosh, i wish i could have had a birth like the woman in the video! Again, can't change it now, but I do know in my heart that this kind of birth is possible. Letting go of fears and preconceived notions can be a long process, though. I didn't get there this time, and I don't think there will be a next time!

The part at the end of the video is a bit strange, I must admit, but i think Laura was just trying to demonstrate the power of the mind and the interviewer was going for shock value obviously.

My lesson planning

2009-01-10T21:51:00.003-07:00

I have to share this exciting book! I have been reading Amanda Soule's book, "The Creative Family" for the past week or so and just love it! It truly has inspired me. I told my friend jokingly that I would be implementing every one of her ideas, and in just a short time, I really have used a lot of them and prepared for most of them!

I would say her book is very Waldorf inspired in that the focus is on natural living incorporating crafts, emphasis on creating activities using the 5 senses for younger children, and gentle parenting. I felt very inept in the craft arena before, but now I feel like I can actually learn to knit, sew, embroider, paint, draw--anything!--doing the basic activities she outlines in the book. I am excited to try these activities with our family. I sense that these projects will really help to ignite my creativity, a part of my life that I have ignored lately.

One of our first activities from the book was making sewing cards. They were a big hit! We drew a soccer ball and a football on poster board, punched holes on the outline, and sewed away using embroidery thread. I was a bit surprised because it is a sedentary activity, but the boys really liked it. I am looking forward to trying some of her suggested beginning sewing projects with the boys.

Based on Amanda's suggestions, I also put together an art bag for all of us which includes a small sketch book, colored pencils, markers, and pencil sharpener. I thought the idea of having this bag accessible at home or out in nature sounded like a great idea for the boys. I wasn't so sure about sketching myself, but surprisingly, i really like it. I thought I had absolutely no interest in drawing, but it's been really fun. The boys have also really enjoyed it even though they haven't showed much interest in drawing in the past. I think they really liked the idea of having their own bag and supplies which made the activity more special for them.

So I am well prepared with loads of fun and creative activities for the rest of the winter! Our house is now super organized with so many different types of toys and crafts easily accessible for the boys and myself. I look forward to the possibilities and am so thankful for this book.

loving unschooling

2009-01-10T20:05:00.005-07:00

I thought I would post about our past few days because they struck my as a good example of unschooling.

I have been feeling so energized by my decision to unschool lately and so thrilled to have discovered this amazing path. One of the many reasons i love unschooling is that I really enjoy lesson planning! One of my strengths as a teacher in the classroom was this passion of mine. I thrive on the research involved, organizing my ideas, and preparing for the lesson. The cool thing about doing this for my kids is that they have the option whether to participate, choose the day and time they want to do it, we can discontinue the project and move on to something else or perhaps delve even deeper into it if we want to, and they will not be evaluated in any way.

actually, i am getting ahead of myself here because the few days i want to write about now involve "lessons" the boys planned mostly themselves, and I might add their plans were just as multifaceted as the ones we were encouraged to create in my grad school program--of course, they were! Matt and I just followed their lead and became their facilitators. I will discuss my own few days of lesson planning in my next post!

What started our "unit" on fires was the fire that burned a lot of land and even some homes in North Boulder last week. We mentioned the fires to the boys on Thursday morning and from the minute we did, they were off and running with questions (see "your four year old: wild and wonderful"--4 year olds are often intrigued with fire and oh how true that is for liam and patrick!) On Thursday morning, Matt took them to see the fire that was still burning. Wow! They were so fascinated. They came home to tell me how many firefighters worked on the blaze, how they worked over night, how the fire started, what damage the fire did, etc. They were brimming with facts. Next, Matt decided to read them some articles from the Boulder Daily Camera online, and they also found a few videos of the fire on the site. They watched those short videos countless times and asked lots of questions, and then proceeded to show me the videos and explain them to me in detail. On Friday, Matt and the boys visited the library where they picked up about 15 books on fires and firefighting. They had a wonderful afternoon reading them and we have been reading them often since. That same morning they also dressed up as firefighters--fire rainboots, 2 pairs of pants each so that they were doubly protected, winter coats, fire hat, gloves tucked inside their coats so their hands would not burn and went outside to play firefighter for an hour or so. They have been wearing the boots the past few days and both plan on being firefighters on the same "team" when they grow up. this week, we plan on a visit to a firehouse to learn more.

I think the above example demonstrates just how fun and easy unschooling can be. Most of us facilitate our children in this way anyway. As an unschooling parent, I want to be really in tune with my kids and their interests and let them lead the way.

Some relief

2009-01-02T22:18:00.002-07:00

Unfortunately, Matt lost his job recently which has been a tough situation for us in many ways. However, I have to say that I am much happier! I know that this is an opportunity that will provide us with an even better life. I have wanted to live more simply for some time and perhaps this will be the catalyst to doing that.

The main reason I am much more at peace, though, is that I now have a full time partner at home. I cannot tell you what a difference this makes in my life and the lives of my children. I have been noticing more and more how my mom friends struggle in their daily lives. I had no idea how challenging it would be to be a mom before I became one. Everyone gives lip service to this fact, but do we really comprehend it? I am just starting to comprehend it now after 4 years of being a mom. By the end of the day when I am on my own, I am so exhausted and frustrated and short-tempered. I think about how ridiculous it is to do all that I do in a day by myself. I long for the days when extended family were near and even long for a much more natural tribe like setting. How much easier it would be. But can we go back to that? I have thought a lot about this as well and I am not so sure.

I am just so thankful, though, for this time when I do have a full time partner. It gives me the help and the little bit of space I need. We have wonderful lives together, but now even better! I know that in moving forward from here we can create a different kind of life. Not sure how we will do so and what it will look like, but I have faith that we can.

My Wild and Wonderful 4 year olds

2009-01-02T21:56:00.003-07:00

I remember a few months back when my friend became troubled by her 4 year old's behavior and was so relieved to find Your Four Year Old: Wild and Wonderful. She immediately recommended it to me and suggested I read it before the boys turned 4 just to be prepared. At the time, we were sailing along blissfully, well almost, so I thought I wouldn't need to read it. But something did start to happen in the last few months to my sweet little boys. Okay, they have always been very high energy and liam has been known to throw a temper tantrum or two, but now, well, they are, yes, wild and I am working on the perspective shift to wonderful.

So here is how the author describes the 4 year old:

very social
likes new places, ideas, etc.
high energy
fluid movement--from one task to the next to the next to the next....
hates and loves passionately
likes to step out of bounds
likes to use profanity and enjoys anything that has to do with poop
silly, silly, silly!
obsessed with violence

That's what I remember from the book and it does describe my boys to the tee! I have to say that I ,too, was so relieved after reading this book. Knowing that this can be normal behavior actually makes me much more understanding. I guess you can say that this is a phase that I have struggled with and have become the parent I don't want to be at times. So now I am getting back on track. I will let go of my resistance to this behavior and find strategies for me to cope with it and we will continue to sail along!

The perfect gift

2009-01-02T21:53:00.001-07:00

Aunt Peggy, Uncle Mike, and Kelley Belly sent this awesome gift to the boys. It's a set of both football and soccer players, felt playing fields, and goal posts and soccer goals. Liam and Patrick have been football and soccer fanatics now since last spring and they are loving this game. I love the fact that they still don't know about video games and are playing with this instead!

Plus, they play soccer every day in our basement. I will need to take pictures of this as well. We have borrowed our friends soccer goal for the winter and we have intense and competetive games played in our basement every day. Claire even gets in on the action as she rides in my sling while I try not to trip over the ball. I love the way they end every game by making sure it is tied. I am still so amazed by their love of sports!

Papa's girl

2009-01-02T21:46:00.001-07:00

Claire just ligthts up when she hears her papa's voice or sees his face. She absolutely adores him! It is very precious to see.

black knight vs. buffs

2009-01-02T21:43:00.001-07:00

Patrick and Liam got new Colorado Buffs Jerseys with their names on them from Grandma Melanie and Grandpa Bob so now they are "real football players!" Patrick decided that he wanted Papa to wear his real football jersey as well. I thought this was too funny! Matt didn't think anything was funny about the way his jersey fit after all of these years. I, however, am very impressed!

new clothes

2009-01-02T21:32:00.000-07:00

here is claire modeling some of her fancy new dresses! Thanks, Leveques and Willis's

making music with Eli

2009-01-02T21:28:00.002-07:00

I decided on a music themed holiday and birthday season this year and it's been so much fun. Someone very generously gave us an old piano for free. We are loving banging around on it and can't wait for it to be tuned! Liam and Patrick also got bongos, loads of great CDs, and an mp3 player. So music has filled the house now for the past few days, and it's very nice. Sometimes I forget about music, but I would love for it to be a bigger part of our lives. The boys and I may take some piano lessons! I guess I am a Boylan after all!

off to work

2009-01-02T21:15:00.001-07:00

Matt decided to bring the boys to work every once in a while, and I think it's a great idea! Not because I get some quiet time, but because they LOVE it! They are so thrilled to be "working" with their papa. They get on their best clothes, and tell me, "we are going to work. have a nice day mom!"

cholesterol myths and food is medcine

2009-01-02T20:50:00.005-07:00

I found this brief you tube video at Chris Masterjohn's blog which is listed as one of my favorite blogs. I think Masterjohn has it right regarding cholesterol even though his views are very radical in the eyes of conventional medicine. I like to spread the word whenever I can that fat is back! Let's look to our very healthy ancestors for our medicine--food. Not modern processed foods or pharmaceutical drugs--while they have their place, they are not the answer. Eating more consciously in this way has the power to heal us and our planet.

Happy Birthday, Liam and Patrick!

2009-01-01T23:41:00.001-07:00

Can't believe my guys are 4 years old! It is so special to celebrate their birthdays and to reflect back on my pregnancy with them, their births and our 4 years together. We had a special day together the day before preparing for their birthdays. We made their favorite foods, made crowns for their special day, and talked about the day they were born. I also got such a wonderful idea from Soule Mama's Creative Family book which Matt and I have decided to do as well. Each year on their birthdays, we will write a love letter to our children reflecting back on the year and how special and wonderful each of them are to us. We will save these letters to give to them when they are older. I also want to make a photo album for them every year. Better get started as I have 4 years to catch up on!

Favorite Gifts this Year

2008-12-27T17:00:00.004-07:00

Thought I would post a list of our favorite gifts this year if anyone out there is looking for gift ideas for kids. Liam and Patrick are almost 4 years old.

silk cape (nova naturals)
face crayons (nova naturals)
doll sling (nova naturals)
doll (nova naturals)
soccer uniforms (sporting goods store)
remote control truck
stickers w/ their name and photo from shutterfly
play dough tools and play dough (nova naturals)
books--they absolutely LOVE the froggy books by Jonathan London and Frank Remkiewicz
fisher price fp3 player and various music CD's and books on tape (magic cabin pirate and knight stories)
connectagons (magic cabin)
moose and bear pajamas from grandma melanie and grandpa bob

snuggled w/ mom

2008-12-27T16:58:00.001-07:00

A few recent pictures of Claire. Looks like she is auditioning for the sound of music! I have really been enjoying all of baby carriers this time around. I used them a bunch with the boys but I couldn't really keep them in them for any length of time because I had 2 to hold! So Claire is snuggled in most of the day. My favorites right now are the wraps. I think these are perfect for a baby through at least 6 months or so. I love my friend's product the sleepy wrap because the fabric is wonderful--short and so stretchy and strong. I am starting to use the Ergo a bit more, but probably will continue to use the wrap almost exclusively for a while more. Sleepy Wraps make an awesome gift for a new mom--www.sleepywrap.com! Thanks, Elizabeth and Robert!

Christmas Photos

2008-12-27T16:09:00.002-07:00

Well, i thought I had more photos than this, but I guess I took mostly video. i will try to find a way to post a video but that may take me several months!

We had a wonderful Christmas at the McConnell House! It was very nice and low key. I feel like this year we had the perfect amount of presents and all of them were a big hit! Last year I was so excited for the boys first Christmas that they could really comprehend that I went way overboard with gifts. It didn't seem like a lot, but it sure was as we opened gifts into the evening and I even put some away to give them at a later time that year. They wanted to play with every gift immediately after they opened it last year and they even lost interest in opening any more after just a few presents!

I thought these photos were so funny. For the last 2 days Liam and Patrick have been wearing their new soccer uniforms including cleats and shin guards, capes, their baby dolls in a sling, and their new mp3 players. Plus we have been playing with face crayons as well. I wasn't sure how much they would play with the dolls, but I think they were a fantastic gift because they can emulate what I do with Claire. So far their dolls do almost everything that Claire does including napping in the sling and nursing.

This year I felt conflicted about what to do in terms of Santa. Last year I was sure that I didn't want to introduce this myth to them. They ended up seeing the Polar Express--what a wonderful movie!-- which they really enjoyed this year as well so they just assumed there was a santa. Anyhow, I have been reading a bunch of Waldorf books and after reading them have felt that we were not encouraging the boys' imagination very much. Matt and I are both so literal with them. I began to notice that whenever I told them a magical story that Liam would just light up. So we have been reading a lot about elves, trolls, and fairies lately! I decided that we would continue to encourage the Santa myth at this point. Here is one article I have read about santa and how to approach it with children: www.naturalchild.com/jan_hunt/santa.html. My issue with doing the santa myth in the family is that I do not like lying to my children and wonder how they will feel when they find out that I have done so. But I wonder if doing santa is lying? i guess this differs from telling them stories about fairies in that we are saying that santa actually interacts with us and all of these other magical creatures do not. but what is reality exactly? how do i know there are not elves and fairies? my dad is getting very worried at this point.

We did enjoy the season though and have been celebrating and preparing since Thanksiving which was a very nice way to do it. Usually, I am so last minute, but taking it slowly was very nice. I know the boys enjoyed it as well.

As I said, I have been reading a lot of Waldorf stuff and have really been wanting to focus on creating tradition in our family. I want to enjoy the season plus help create special memories for my children. I have been thinking a lot about this and some of the nuances here with leading an unschooling life and following traditions. I think one difference is that I am wanting my kids to be an integral part of the process including whether or not they want to participate and let them choose how to participate. This year they were very enthusiastic about most everything. I am trying, though, to re-examine my beliefs around how things "should" be during the holidays. For instance, one thing I struggled with was that the boys were not super excited about giving gifts. We did have a fun day of making ornaments, but then they were not as interested in actually following through with giving them to people. In fact, Liam wanted to keep all of them so we could put them on our tree! Ultimately, we did end up giving some as gifts, but I got into a spot where I wanted to force them to do this and felt they "should" want to do this! I let that go, though! Matt had a tough time because he wanted them to wait for Christmas to open all of their presents. I really thought about this and decided it was their choice. The gifts that arrived were for them so I did not want to dictate when they should open them. Why would I force them to wait until Christmas? We would all be miserable! If they didn't have gifts to open on Christmas Day and they were upset about that, they could make a different choice next year or not.

And now we await New Year's Day and the boys' 4th birthdays! I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!

claire and patrick

2008-11-16T16:24:00.002-07:00

weaning day

2008-11-16T15:44:00.003-07:00

after almost 4 years, i weaned the boys last week. it was a sad time for all of us, but it was time. unfortunately, patrick found an alternative to mother's milk, the "mother's milk" of his ancestors! maybe this isn't funny to joke about, but on his last night of "chi-chi", this struck me as really funny.

recipe update

2008-11-16T15:00:00.003-07:00

last weekend i posted about making pumpkin spice muffins and homemade pasta from my favorite food blog, the nourishing gourmet. well, they both turned out really yummy! i was so happy to find a healthy pasta recipe! i didn't think it would be possible to actually soak the grains used for pasta, but it worked. here is why i soak,

chicken update

2008-11-02T11:24:00.004-07:00

so it's been adventure all summer raising these chickens! matt tells me that we can take them all to a local farm and he won't make any comments such as I told you so! it's been a learning process. it was all pretty easy until i sprained my ankle late in my pregnancy and after that, well, i was pretty darn pregnant w/ my big baby girl and struggled to get up the hill to the coop. then the poop everywhere just started to annoy the heck out of me. we were hosing down the patios twice a day and apologizing to our guests when we had to wipe to poop off their chair before they sat down. so grandpa bob arrived and i pleaded with him to build me a fence to keep the chickens up on the hill by the coop. he was so kind to comply and spent a whole day of his visit putting it up for us. i couldn't ask matt to do it because he wasn't so thrilled about us having chickens in the first place-- this was my project. I guess one needs to have a bit more practical knowledge to be a farmer--lesson learned and a big reason to unschool. unfortunately matt is the one w/ the practical skills, but not the one who wants to undertake my little projects. so then our next dilemma was how to keep them up on the hill once our short 3 foot fence was in place. we clipped their wings several times, but they still managed to fly out. so matt clipped them very short and yay, they were contained! this happened over a period of several weeks. unfortunately on the day he last clipped them, a fox came into our yard in the middle of the day and grabbed our Americauna and had a nice feast for himself. then i realized, oh my gosh, i have totally disabled these poor chickens and now they are sitting ducks for neighborhood predators. so i decided to give guinness a job--after all the poor dog has been completely ignored since the boys were born until just recently when he has become the tormented--let's chase guinness around the house and grab his tail, let's pretend he is a bear and spear him, let's ride him like a horse--you get the picture. anyhow, i put him on duty up on our hill. the poor dog. he sat there all day staring at our house. this seemed worse then being tormented by those twin boys in the house. like the chickens, he found ways to escape. so now i have relieved guinness of his duties. we just try to keep an eye on the yard while we are here and don't let them out of the coop if we are gone for the day. it actually allowed my dad to live out a "real cops" fantasy last weekend when John Reali very quietly and calmly said, "the fox is back" after he saw it grab a chicken and start to run across our yard. he didn't want to alarm the kids because he envisioned them looking up at the same moment the fox was feasting. So my dad jumps up and races out the door heading for the fox. he runs up the hill, trips on our stepping stones and nearly falls hard--thank god that didn't happened-- and chase the fox into the next yard. what was he going to do? yell at the fox? tell him to never return? break out his bow and arrow? not sure, but it was hysterical! thankfully, the sight of big jim running at him convinced the fox to drop our chicken, who was thankfully unhurt.

I also must add that I say thankfully only because i want those eggs! i have to say that I have really developed no affection for these chickens. i know, i am a bad person. I am thankful for those eggs and the chickens for laying them, but the girls are by no means pets to me. they were when they were cute baby chicks, but now they are scary large birds. i say scary because they are so skittish and squawk and fuss when i try to pick them up and it does creep me out a bit. i inherited my dads phobia of birds apparently. plus they are strange looking animals. thank goodness for our chicken whisperer!

but, really having these chickens has been worth it for the joy they bring to liam and patrick, especially patrick. what a wonderful learning experience it has been to raise them-- from building the coop, caring for the chicks, feeding them, checking for eggs, eating the eggs every morning, sharing the eggs w/ friends, accidentally killing a chick, discovering we had a rooster and needing to find it another home, running around the yard trying to catch them at night, etc.

i have posted a picture of my favorite chicken, a favorelle, who is so funky looking!

nightly rhythms

2008-11-01T21:02:00.002-06:00

for the past few weeks we have spent time after dinner in the same way. i love the idea of getting into a spontaneous rhythm in our family, but am also getting more comfortable with chaos as well! I like what i heard eckhart tolle say about the natural chaos of nature, versus how as humans we like to place order upon it with our neatly manicured gardens and landscapes because this type of order can soothe the overactive mind. so i guess having children puts us in greater touch with the soul! anyhow, back to our rhythyms. liam and i have been spending our after dinner hours in the kitchen. liam really loves to play in the kitchen! i like that the boys are really developing different interests. tonight liam and i ground grains for flour. we are soaking some of the flour for tomorrow morning's breakfast to make pumpkin spice muffins w/ streusel topping--recipe found at my favorite food blog, the nourishing gourmet. we are also soaking flour to make homemade pasta--a first for us! recipe also found at the nourishing gourmet. will post pics and results tomorrow! patrick and matt spent their evening putting together puzzles. Patrick is on a puzzle kick. he loves them! he is feeling very proud that he now puts them together on his own while matt watches him.

Happy Halloween!

2008-11-01T15:20:00.004-06:00

This year we decided to attend a Halloween Journey at our local Waldorf school. I have been avoiding the issue of trick or treating now for several years and by gosh, they still don't know what it is! I feel partly guilty about this if I am to consider myself an unschooler, but on the other hand, I haven't lied, I just haven't told them about it. I am still not sure why we celebrate Halloween in this way by giving kids a bunch of chemical and sugar laden "food?" I just don't see these "foods" as treats in any way. My dear grandmother who has struggled with Type 2 Diabetes for years says she feels sorry for my kids because they don't eat sugary foods. Huh????

Anyway, I really do want my kids to make their own decisions about as many things as possible so that they can learn by experience rather than having someone control them to such an extent as they don't know when they are tired, hungry, sick, etc. I don't want to set up the dynamic of forbidden foods because this could create big problems down the line, but what I try to do is to keep our home stocked with super healthy and nutritious and yummy foods. It has dramatically helped that they have been exposed to these foods from the very beginning so they have a taste for them and actually enjoy them. We have never given them "kid" foods so they do like a whole variety of foods. Our snack and sweet foods are just as nutritious as our main meals so I feel really good about allowing them to eat whatever they want whenever they want. When they ask for a bowl of ice cream before dinner, no problem! It's homemade and made of fresh raw organic cream, eggs from our chickens, vanilla and maple syrup. Seriously, this is a health food to me! The same goes for cookies, muffins, pancakes--essentially the sweet, carby foods. The grains are whole and soaked, the sugar is natural and I use real butter and fresh eggs. I even make my homemade candies! So I often see my kids sit down to a meal of savory foods such as meat, beans, veggies, etc., along w/ a sweeter food such as the ice cream and actually eat it all. It still rather shocks me! When I was a kid if I were told I could have ice cream for dinner, that's all I would have eaten. Forget about the other stuff! The other thing is that we don't label the sweet foods, desserts or treats. They are just like all of the other foods we eat. We don't withhold them based on the boys' behavior or what they have or have not eaten during the rest of the day. All of this, I believe will really help them in the long term-- a strong foundation of healthy foods during their formative years, plus not all of the baggage around sweet or "unhealthy" foods.

Some other things that help are that we don't watch tv so they are not inundated with advertising, plus we shop only at the farmer's market, local farms, and the local food coop.

However, all is well and good when they are in my house, but what happens when we are out in the "real world" as my dad likes to say. Well, this is where I have some work to do! I really want to let go of my issues around them eating unhealthy foods and allow them to continue to make their choices. Something that helps is that most of our friends eat similarly to us and our town is really health conscious. I don't want to be freaking out on the sidelines when they are chowing down on some sugar and chemical laden food. I want to let this go. I know eating these foods every once in a while won't be harmful, but I am a bit worried about them losing their taste for the healthy foods because unhealthy foods have very strong flavors and really bombard the senses so that more natural foods can begin to taste bland and not very exciting. Plus, they are addictive. I also think they have enough of a foundation that they will remain healthy even if their diet changes. After all, the body is pretty amazing.

So for instance, matt brought home a bunch of sugary cookies today from the farmers market and i placed a limit on the amount they could eat because they have colds. if they hadn't had colds, this is where i would want to let go of my hang ups and let them eat as many as they wanted. When we have done this in the past and I don't freak about it, they rarely eat very many! I try to do the same when we are out. They can have what they want to eat and how much they want. I would, however, make suggestions if they were eating what I deemed to be too much of an unhealthy food, but guess what? That hasn't happened yet! I know it will eventually, but so far they have amazed me with their ability to self-regulate. I have mentioned at home, that I would like them to eat some more protein. Liam tends to be my carb boy. Sometimes he agrees, sometimes he doesn't. The thing is, though, that we talk about all of this. They ask me why people eat certain foods and why we don't. It's all an open discussion. They understand as best they can why I make the choices I do around food.

I definitely control their food intake and will eventually have less hang ups about it, but I'm not sure I would ever let go of all restrictions in this area, at least while they are young. This is something that radical unschoolers do--no limits on tv, games, food, etc., and I really admire and understand this perspective. I am just not sure I will get there or if I want to get there when it comes to food.

Wow, much more to say on this subject, and will probably post again. Wasn't this supposed to be about Halloween?

Surprise!

2008-11-01T13:08:00.003-06:00

I was so surprised last friday when my family showed up at my door! what an awesome birthday surprise! Matt had been planning it for a few months and i was clueless! he hired a photographer, we had a lovely brunch at our favorite restaurant, the kitchen, had a catered meal on saturday night, juggled 6 kids, and drank lots of wine and beer! thank you, family!

Our Friends

2008-11-01T12:56:00.003-06:00

We are so happy to be hanging out lately with the Antunovic family. Mama Elizabeth had us over for yet another gourmet meal the other night. just had to take a photo! and patrick has not stpped talking about the fact that Isabella wants to marry him because she said i have the sweetest smile as ever! we also spent the day at our house a couple of weeks back making grape juice, chocolate pumpkin cake, and salsa--what a combo!

extremes

2008-11-01T12:42:00.001-06:00

my spidermen and my little irish boys!

brotherly love

2008-11-01T12:36:00.002-06:00

liam and patrick just love claire! they truly enjoying being with her and love to help. in the morning, they stay in bed with her while i brush my teeth, get dressed, etc. and even change her diaper if she needs it. she follows them around and i can see it won't be long before she is speed crawling after them!

Visit from the Youngs

2008-11-01T12:08:00.004-06:00

We had a wonderful visit with Matt's parents last month. The boys enjoyed spending time with them playing, listening to stories, building fences, and doing all sorts of arts and craft activities that Melanie brought along.

Isn't this Sweet?

2008-11-01T11:58:00.003-06:00

Have a made a plug for co-sleeping here before? I do think it's one the best choices I have made as a parent. Don't get me wrong, it's been tough at times, too, but so worth it. I really feel connected with my children all day and night long! I love being able to respond to them instantly. It just seems a bit strange that we long to sleep with our partners and often sleep with our pets, but think it's wrong in some way to sleep with our children? The downside has been that Matt and I have struggled to maintain our connection which obviously is so important, but we have to work to find other times to connect and it all works out.

Harvest Time

2008-11-01T11:35:00.004-06:00

I am starting to love this time of year! It used to be a sad time--returning to school and the weather getting colder--but now I am truly appreciating the abundance of nourishing foods and welcoming the slower pace that fall and winter bring.

I just had to take some photos of the vegetables we harvested from our garden and purchased at the farmer's market. Gorgeous! I have been busy preserving by fermenting and freezing veggies. This year I have my freezer loaded with frozen peaches, onions, peppers, and tomatoes. We also bought a 1/4 cow from a local farm . We will save squashes in the basement and store "keeper" apples in our garage. I have made a bunch of apple cider and will also dehydrate apples as well. We also signed up for a winter share CSA from and picked up our first veggies last thursday. This CSA will last through the end of Decemeber.

I am really trying to eat locally as much as possible which means eating with the seasons. It feels really good to do this! My kids understand where their food comes from and at what time of the year foods are harvested. I am not sure what we will do January-June, but we will figure it out! Actually, another farm grows greens in the winter in their greenhouse so I think we will be all set with veggies-- It might not be eating with the seasons, but it's local and it's nice to have some fresh vegetables every once in a while.

the chicken whisperer

2008-11-01T11:11:00.005-06:00

I often find Patrick outside cuddling with one of our chickens. It is so sweet to see this! He has really taken on the responsibility of taking care of our ladies. The chickens have been laying now for about 2 months, and he still checks for eggs several times per day and he is my guy to get them all in the coop at night.

Consequences

2008-11-01T10:05:00.004-06:00

I am hoping to write more about parenting issues because I think about this stuff a lot, and I hope that writing will help to organize my thoughts and explain my unconventional parenting style to anyone who is interested.

So my sister suggested to me yesterday that I may need to introduce consequences to my boys who at almost 4 are definitely a handful. I had actually been thinking about the use of consequences a lot lately, but really because I have been using consequences with them when I lose my temper, which seems to be happening about once a day, and had been feeling really guilty about it. I actually have committed myself to not using consequences or any other form of punishment with them. So let me try to explain why.

I see consequences essentially as a euphemism for punishment. Today we don't spank or send a child to their room, we impose consequences or send them to time out instead. I guess I feel like punishment doesn't work very well in the long run, no matter how kindly it is administered. Hey, maybe that's why I lose my temper so much--bottled up anger from when I was a kid! I remember being sent to my room and seething with anger while I sat in there, plotting my revenge against my parents and feeling totally powerless. It was a bad feeling and it definitely didn't help improve my behavior. I actually learned to be sneaky, lie, and believe that I was a bad person. Kids may comply out of the fear of consequences, but do we really want our kids to learn by fear? And let me add in case my parents happen to read this blog, that I know they were doing a lot better than their parents by not using corporal punishment. It was an improvement for sure!

So anyway, I believe these so called natural consequences also make a child feel powerless, just like a more severe punishment would. I want my children to feel powerful. I want them to believe they can be and do anything. I also want them to learn how to respectfully treat people so I need to model it myself. I want to understand that their behavior is the best way they know how to communicate at their young ages and that they are just searching for a way to feel good again. I want to see their behavior as an expression of some underlying need that is not being met and rather than punish them, find a way I can help them. I want to teach them healthy ways to do that by loving them, respecting them, and communicating with them.

I am working on it. I am working on not taking something from them when they are not using it inappropriately (and here mostly I am considering safety and really want to re-evaluate my thoughts about what kids should or should not do), but rather saying, let's sit down and work something out. We will always find a way is becoming our family motto--thanks, Scott Noelle-! I am working on increasing my affection and attention to liam when he gets angry and frustrated which show up as tantrums or hurting his brother. Rather than withdraw my love, I want to see that he is struggling and love him for that. Rather than sending him away from me in a time out, I try to bring him closer to show that he is good and that he will find his way.

I want to be more loving. Sometimes it helps to think of my kids as guests in my home. I would never treat a guest in the ways I treat my children. If a guest showed up late for dinner, would I say, too bad, now you don't get any dinner? No, I would understand there was a reason for their tardiness and lovingly offer them a meal. I want to do that for my children, too.

I do believe in truly natural consequences and the benefits of a child learning from them. For instance my friend told me the other day that her son decided to purchase a cheap plastic toy with the money he had earned. She let him make that choice and when the toy broke within a few hours, they talked about it and he learned by experience, which I think is the only way to learn, that maybe he might not want to buy a toy like that next time.

On the other hand, we all have our boundaries. I just believe that if we are in a space of love that our boundaries would be far less. So yes, maybe I would tell my child that no, i don't feel like making pancakes for him right now and that he could have cereal instead. I want to be authentic, but I also want to realize that letting go of my issues will really help me to gratefully, lovingly, and with great pleasure say yes to the requests of my child. I am working on it. I am finding my way.

I believe that all children are good and really want to do what is best for everyone. It is when I believe they are not, that they comply and behave that way. I want to trust that if love, respect, and caring are modeled, that they, when they are capable, will model that themselves. It's when we force them into compliance, which I believe models disrespect and lack of caring, that they become that way themselves. They learn to mask their true feelings and thwart their actions, inevitably suppressing them, only to resurface later and with stronger force.

So I am finding my way to letting go of my anger when I am unhappy with the boys' behavior. I am waiting to react until I feel centered and calm. So essentially, I am giving myself the time out from speaking!

Hey, writing this was actually really helpful to me! So now all 2 of my loyal blog fans (thanks Jill and Elizabeth!) will be hearing more from me!

In addition to the links I have posted on my blog, the following articles helped me formulate my opinions here: www.continuum-concept.org/reading/consequences.html and

Welcome, Claire!

2008-09-18T15:48:00.002-06:00

Claire Ann Marie McConnell was born on August 20, 2008 at home. She came into this world very quickly after hanging out in utero for a good while. We were surprised and delighted to have a girl! The boys are loving her up! I hope to write her birth story soon.

the joys of summer

2008-07-21T17:38:00.000-06:00

jumping from planes

2008-07-21T17:31:00.000-06:00

One day I found Matt showing the boys You Tube videos of paratroopers. Yikes, couldn't he show them civilians jumping from planes? I really dislike all of the military videos on You Tube (yes, we have watched some before) because they really glorify the military. There's enough pressure with a father who served in the military and likes to tell a few tales to his boys, but then with the way the media glorifies it...I know, I am being a bit paranoid since the boys are only 3, but now I have 2 little paratroopers in the back yard! Let it go, Lisa...

2008-07-21T17:25:00.000-06:00

Here is a photo update of our garden. I can't believe how big the tomato plants have gotten! One day the boys were awfully quiet for a long time so I peaked outside to discover that they had discovered the first snap peas and were happily picking and eating them. What a joy to discover them finding such pleasure in that experience!

Big Mama

2008-07-21T17:18:00.000-06:00

Finally, a few more photos of me! Not that I am too anxious to put these on my blog, but my fans have requested it! Ha, Ha! I am going to post a few more tomorrow because I now have a beautiful henna tatoo on my belly that I want to show off as well.

The future of Food

2008-07-08T18:19:00.003-06:00

Love this You Tube. This is an introduction to the film, The Future of Food, which is really quite shocking. I think it's incentive for all of us to reclaim our food supply! You can find the entire video on You Tube.

Birth As We Know It

2008-07-06T10:48:00.002-06:00

I just watched another inpirational birth video last night which I ordered from www.birthasweknowit.com. It was quite a beautiful video with lots of amazing births documented. I would say it really focused on the spiritual aspects of birth. It was a bit intimidating to me because I kept thinking, I only have 5 weeks to get ready on an emotional level and feel like there is so much more work left to do!

I was also very moved by the section on circumcision which I didn't expect to see on the film. The film maker actually filmed a circumcision which just seemed so gruesome to me. There is some very detailed video on cesarian section which I also found to be quite disturbing.

It's so wonderful that these films are out there now. I just wish everyone could see them and see them at a very young age to counter what is available about birth in mainstream media.

Puffy Shirts Tie Dyes

2008-06-29T21:56:00.000-06:00

Again, we were inspired by my friend Jill who posted about making painted shirts w/ puffy paint with her kids. Thanks, Jill! We also made Tie-Dyes and I will post a picture of all of us wearing our family shirts soon!

First Movie

2008-06-29T21:50:00.000-06:00

The boys went to their first movie last Sunday, Kung Fu Panda. They were thrilled to be in the theater and it was really neat to watch their excitement. Turns out that the movie was a bit too scary for Patrick. He nursed the entire time and didn't look at the screen after he saw the scary tiger in the dark and ominous prison. Liam liked it a bit more. They asked a million questions during the movie which was really cute.

And at last, one picture of big mama!

The tag along

2008-06-29T21:46:00.000-06:00

The boys are now in LOVE with this bike! They have been cruising all around town with Papa for the last 2 weekends. The photo is of their very first day on the bike. They took about 7 rides that day! As you can see, later in the after noon they were wiped out!

Great Birthing Quote

2008-06-29T21:10:00.002-06:00

I am immersing myself in birthing stories right now and came across this quote by Dr. Christiane Northrup from Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom:

"

Imagine what might happen if the majority of women emerged from their labor beds with a renewed sense of the strength and power of their bodies, and of their capacity for ecstasy through giving birth. When enough women realize that birth is a time of great opportunity to get in touch with their true power, and when they are willing to assume responsibility for this, we will reclaim the power of birth and help move technology where it belongs--in the service of birthing women, not their master."

The Business of Being Born

2008-06-25T12:50:00.003-06:00

I just watched this last night for the first time after hearing about it for months. I was so impressed! I had had the impression that it was pretty censored for a more mainstream audience and that Ricki Lake hadn't really taken any big risks in discussing what is going on in this country in terms of birth. But no, it was a lot more honest than I thought!

I was really inspired by the the homebirth scenes because they were such amazing and beautiful experiences. It is such a clear contrast to what goes on at most hospitals. Having had the experience of a home and hospital birth myself, I feel that the movie portrayed this difference really well. Even though I transferred in an emergency situation for the birth of Patrick, my first thought as I was wheeled through the hospital doors was, "thank god I decided to birth at home." Seriously, it was my very first thought. I was very grateful to have the hospital available to me, but very thankful that I was aware of my other options.

I like how Lake focused on informed consent and the lack of it at most OB/GYN's offices and hospitals. I just think it's so important that women understand very clearly the impact of each and every potential hospital intervention. I have seen so often doctors/nurses completely blow off any concerns expressed by the patient. "Oh yes, this is a routine procedure and very safe. it won't harm your baby." Oh really, how do you know? What if I showed you some of my own research that clearly indicates that each intervention causes a potential cascade of interventions. Do we really understand the long term impact of these drugs/procedures on the physical and emotional development of the child?

I also liked that she discussed the potential harmful effects of the difficulties in bonding and creating attachment with our babies due to the drugs and procedures used at most births. It was so very clear how completely in love and bonded the women were w/ their babies that had home births. It was so beautiful to see. But as one of the doctors asks, what are the consequences to our world of whole generations of babies and moms not bonding in the way nature intended?

This is what people should be learning in schools! We blindly accept what the media, corporate america, and doctors portray as normal birth so when it comes time to birth ourselves, we don't question the program. I love the scene where Lake asks doctors if they have ever witnessed a natural birth before. No. For all that condemn home birth, have they ever been present at one?

I feel this is such an important social and spiritual issue. It's a feminist issue. Our rights to know about the possibility of a natural birth have been taken away from us. As women we don't even comprehend what we have lost here. Birthing is one of the most empowering things a woman can do and allowing women who want to, to birth naturally would change the world.

Awesome Twin/Triplet Birth Video!

2008-06-21T22:37:00.000-06:00

A day to cook

2008-06-19T22:32:00.004-06:00

As a parent I am learning to go with the flow. I don't make many plans, although I still do have my things to do list handy. It just sticks around for a bit longer than it did in the past.

Today turned out to be a day to cook and prepare food. The boys were very interested in helping, and I somehow felt energized enough to be on my feet all day.

The other thing I am coming to accept as a parent is that children are not neat! I have had to let go of my compulsion to keep things neat and tidy (no joke, mom, i do like to have a clean house!) and find peace them to make their messes. I understand that these "messes" as an important part of the learning process, but I sometimes get frustrated when things are not orderly. Another downside to conventional education is that teachers are always looking for the "right" answer which does not leave much room for experimentation or "messes." But one never truly learns without taking risks and experimenting with ideas. I didn't. I remember being so worried about having the right answer for my teachers that I rarely participated in class discussion and panicked while answering test questions. I didn't care what I learned, only that I told the teacher what they wanted to hear and therefore, got good grades as a result.

So breathe, Lisa, when the boys "help" grind the grains while running their hands through the flour, draw with the flour, spoon the flour into a jar--well, at least 1/2 of it made it, etc. It was actually enjoyable cleaning up the kitchen after all of their projects today because I thought of how much fun they had while helping me. They laughed and played as they cooked. Liam was so proud to shred some of the kim chee veggies with his hands and then organize them into piles. Patrick loved taking what I had chopped and adding it to the bowl. They both loved pounding the vegetables for the kim chee to get the juices out. They loved climbing on the counter from their learning tower to check to see how many grains were left in the mill and then report it back to me. At one point they got out some of their smaller construction vehicles and played with all of the flour that had ended up on the floor. Loading their tiny little dump truck w/ flour and creating elaborate construction zones.

So today we ground (or is it grinded?) lots of flour! A bunch for a new sour dough starter that I am starting, inspired by my friend, Jill, who recently did the same: /blogginrobins2.blogspot.com. We ground up a bunch of local wheat berries which I purchased at the farmer's market yesterday. We soaked the wheat flour w/ yogurt to make a pizza dough for tomorrow night. Yum! Our new raw dairy co-op (www.windsordairy.com) makes fresh mozerella so we have been having pizza every week! We also made a jar of kim chee w/ local onions and carrots.

Balance Bikes

2008-06-19T22:15:00.003-06:00

Our unschooling group has been going on lots of bike rides lately. There are so many great trails around here! Patrick and Liam tried to keep up with their scooters, but realized pretty quickly that they wanted a bike, too. I was a bit late in realizing that they were eating their knees on their trikes! Anyhow, a bunch of people have recommended balance bikes which are bikes without pedals. So instead of using training wheels, the child learns to balance on the bike w/out pedals and graduates to a regular bike much more easily and quickly. We purchased Strider's (www.stridersports.com) and have been really happy with them. I did also just hear about a local company who makes these bikes at www.mykinderbike.com.

Soccer!

2008-06-19T22:03:00.003-06:00

All of a sudden Liam and Patrick both wanted to be soccer players. They talked about it for a while. They wanted shin pads and cleats like they had seen other kids wear. Then they decided they wanted a uniform, too. On one of their Saturday adventures with Papa, they found a soccer store and uniforms and gear just their size. They have been wearing these uniforms now for about 2 weeks. The first few days they wore the shin guards all day long! Ugh, I remember how sweaty those got after just a few hours! So you will see lots of photos of them in these uniforms. I believe Patrick's is Club America and Liam's is Madrid. They also will go outside and kick the soccer ball around quite a bit, too.!

What is Unschooling

2008-06-14T16:52:00.002-06:00

So for my friend Katie Tepas in Anchorage, AK, and all of you out there who wonder what the heck I am referring to when I talk about unschooling, I want to take a stab at explaining it.

Unschooling is a form of homeschooling. It is essentially child-led learning. An unschooled child is one free to explore whatever interests them. As a parent, I act as the facilitator to their learning. I am really tuned in to what they are curious about and help to provide ways that they can learn more about it if they wish and in ways that best suit them. For me it's all about freedom and in allowing a child or any person, for that matter, to have freedom, they will find what makes them happy. They will find what they are passionate about doing. They will find their calling or callings in life. It's about living a joyful life. It's about doing what makes you happy. It's about finding your genius. There are no limitations to what a person can learn, but schools place many on our kids.

I stumbled upon unschooling as a result of practicing Attachment Parenting (www.attachmentparenting.org). It just seemed to flow naturally from it. I feel that practicing Attachment Parenting took me on a very different path as a parent as the one I had anticipated. In a way, I felt like there was no turning back!

The part of a more gentle parenting style that really led me to unschooling was choosing not to use rewards or punishments with my children--I read a book called Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn which really resonated with me in regards to this subject. I don't want my children to do things because they will be rewarded or punished for them. I want them to really know what they want in life, not to decide what they want based on someone else's arbitrary notions of what is a good or bad choice for them. I believe that children do not need to be coerced to learn--what natural learners they are!--but using rewards or punishments and coerced learning can take away this natural love of learning. Some children end up rebelling against this system and in the process learn to hate learning. Some children comply, and if seemingly outwardly successful, they really don't know what makes them happy or know what they really want to learn. They just learn to please others. I have seen this in my own life as a student and as a middle and high school teacher.

This is just a quick peak at what unschooling is, and I am sure I will add many more posts on this subject!

Race Cars

2008-06-04T13:25:00.003-06:00

We have a children's book about animals racing cars and the boys were very curious about them. About the race cars, not the fact that animals were driving them. So we took them to a fun park area in North Boulder to see for themselves. Liam was beaming when he got out of the car after his first ride. Patrick wasn't as sure.

Chick Update

2008-06-04T12:09:00.004-06:00

The girls are growing up! They are now out in the coop full time. We have the cadillac of coops built by Curly who spent 6 painstaking weeks building it for us. He actually fell off the top of the coop roof and broke some rib bones. We really appreciate his hard work building such a palace for the girls.

Summer Vacation 2008

2008-06-03T22:40:00.001-06:00

We traveled back to the East Coast to visit family in New York City and New Jersey in May.

Gardening and yard work

2008-06-02T21:24:00.004-06:00

Oh my gosh, Liam and Patrick LOVE working outside. They seriously work all day outside some days. They especially love helping their Papa. Patrick more so. He just follows him around and helps him with anything. Matt will say what he wants to do and Patrick repeats it verbatim. It is so cute.

We have spent about 1 1/2 months doing spring cleanup and preparing new garden beds. I am so happy with the way it has all turned out and can't wait until things start really growing! At this point, we do a lot of watering and weeding. I have wanted a garden for while now but we have moved around so much, it was never worth the effort. We did start a vegetable garden in Tacoma only to find out after everything was planted that the soil was contaminated with arsenic.

This year we are growing potatoes, beets, carrots, onions, lettuces, leafy greens, green beans, peas, tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, watermelon, cantaloupe, raspberries, strawberries, winter squash, and lots of basil and cilantro. One day, I hope to grow a lot of our own food. We do have great organic farms here, though, which is so wonderful. Awesome farmer's market on Saturdays.

Blue Skies Garden

2008-06-02T21:14:00.003-06:00

This is our unschooling group which meets once per week. We meet at a cohousing community called Nyland where several of our group members live. It's a great place--beautiful views of the mountains, lots of open space, a children's playroom, chickens, goats, hiking and more. The boys really have come to love our Tuesday's there and are forming close bonds with the mamas and kids in the community. In this photo, we are at another location doing a clean up for Earth Day 2008.

Getting Ready for Baby

2008-06-02T16:41:00.004-06:00

My little hikers

2008-05-27T22:18:00.002-06:00

We have been "hiking" a lot more with the boys lately which has been a lot of fun for all of us. We often don't make it very far, but that's fine with me because I can't make it very far right now either! I am 30 weeks pregnant and beginning to waddle!

the chicks are here!

2008-05-27T21:35:00.002-06:00

We are very excited to be raising baby chicks! There was a lot to learn about different breeds, how to take care of the chicks, what to feed them--grow our own food, buy it locally, buy a premixed feed?--, what kind of coop to build, will Guinness hunt them?, etc. It's been a lot of fun learning about it all. We ended up picking out 8 chicks: 2 white orpingtons, 2 ameracaunas, 1 buff silkie, 1 cochin, 1 jersey giant (couldn't pass up a breed created in jersey), and 1 light brahma. They are all very winter hardy breeds and decent layers, plus easy going and gentle. I wish I could say that Liam and Patrick were the same with them! Unfortunately we did lose one to a little rough handling which we were all very sad about. Liam and Patrick had built the chick a nest in a flower pot, but the chick just wouldn't stay in it so they decided to put a rock on top of her so she would stay there. Lessons learned all around.

There is so much much great information on the web about raising chickens, but my favorite is www.backyardchicken.com.

End of Winter

2008-05-27T15:15:00.000-06:00

I know this is a bit late, but wanted to add some photos of our trip to Winter Park. We stayed at our friend Ruth's beautiful home at the end of April and had a lot of fun cross country skiing.

New beds!

2008-05-27T14:30:00.001-06:00

We have purchased new beds for the boys from Lifekind which is a company I highly recommend. They have great non-toxic organic mattress and fantastic customer service. We also purchase our bedding from them and it's super soft and comfortable. Anyhow, the boys were so excited to get their new beds as you can see from the photos. However, the excitement didn't last long and now Papa sleeps in one of the new beds while the boys and I are in the King. We have the mattresses all pushed up together in our room, essentially 2 kings together so it really is a bedroom! Anyhow, we are working on a plan for when the baby comes because the boys are very reluctant to give up their spots on either side of me. Maybe the baby can just sleep on top of me. Sounds cozy and lovely right now.

Our first post!

2008-05-26T14:52:00.000-06:00

I am really excited to begin this blog because I think it will be a great way for family and friends to stay to connected with our family. We have made such wonderful friends in so many places and are currently far away from family, so I am hoping this will be a good way to stay in touch. I also want to keep a record of our wonderful adventures.