This year we decided to attend a Halloween Journey at our local Waldorf school. I have been avoiding the issue of trick or treating now for several years and by gosh, they still don't know what it is! I feel partly guilty about this if I am to consider myself an unschooler, but on the other hand, I haven't lied, I just haven't told them about it. I am still not sure why we celebrate Halloween in this way by giving kids a bunch of chemical and sugar laden "food?" I just don't see these "foods" as treats in any way. My dear grandmother who has struggled with Type 2 Diabetes for years says she feels sorry for my kids because they don't eat sugary foods. Huh????
Anyway, I really do want my kids to make their own decisions about as many things as possible so that they can learn by experience rather than having someone control them to such an extent as they don't know when they are tired, hungry, sick, etc. I don't want to set up the dynamic of forbidden foods because this could create big problems down the line, but what I try to do is to keep our home stocked with super healthy and nutritious and yummy foods. It has dramatically helped that they have been exposed to these foods from the very beginning so they have a taste for them and actually enjoy them. We have never given them "kid" foods so they do like a whole variety of foods. Our snack and sweet foods are just as nutritious as our main meals so I feel really good about allowing them to eat whatever they want whenever they want. When they ask for a bowl of ice cream before dinner, no problem! It's homemade and made of fresh raw organic cream, eggs from our chickens, vanilla and maple syrup. Seriously, this is a health food to me! The same goes for cookies, muffins, pancakes--essentially the sweet, carby foods. The grains are whole and soaked, the sugar is natural and I use real butter and fresh eggs. I even make my homemade candies! So I often see my kids sit down to a meal of savory foods such as meat, beans, veggies, etc., along w/ a sweeter food such as the ice cream and actually eat it all. It still rather shocks me! When I was a kid if I were told I could have ice cream for dinner, that's all I would have eaten. Forget about the other stuff! The other thing is that we don't label the sweet foods, desserts or treats. They are just like all of the other foods we eat. We don't withhold them based on the boys' behavior or what they have or have not eaten during the rest of the day. All of this, I believe will really help them in the long term-- a strong foundation of healthy foods during their formative years, plus not all of the baggage around sweet or "unhealthy" foods.
Some other things that help are that we don't watch tv so they are not inundated with advertising, plus we shop only at the farmer's market, local farms, and the local food coop.
However, all is well and good when they are in my house, but what happens when we are out in the "real world" as my dad likes to say. Well, this is where I have some work to do! I really want to let go of my issues around them eating unhealthy foods and allow them to continue to make their choices. Something that helps is that most of our friends eat similarly to us and our town is really health conscious. I don't want to be freaking out on the sidelines when they are chowing down on some sugar and chemical laden food. I want to let this go. I know eating these foods every once in a while won't be harmful, but I am a bit worried about them losing their taste for the healthy foods because unhealthy foods have very strong flavors and really bombard the senses so that more natural foods can begin to taste bland and not very exciting. Plus, they are addictive. I also think they have enough of a foundation that they will remain healthy even if their diet changes. After all, the body is pretty amazing.
So for instance, matt brought home a bunch of sugary cookies today from the farmers market and i placed a limit on the amount they could eat because they have colds. if they hadn't had colds, this is where i would want to let go of my hang ups and let them eat as many as they wanted. When we have done this in the past and I don't freak about it, they rarely eat very many! I try to do the same when we are out. They can have what they want to eat and how much they want. I would, however, make suggestions if they were eating what I deemed to be too much of an unhealthy food, but guess what? That hasn't happened yet! I know it will eventually, but so far they have amazed me with their ability to self-regulate. I have mentioned at home, that I would like them to eat some more protein. Liam tends to be my carb boy. Sometimes he agrees, sometimes he doesn't. The thing is, though, that we talk about all of this. They ask me why people eat certain foods and why we don't. It's all an open discussion. They understand as best they can why I make the choices I do around food.
I definitely control their food intake and will eventually have less hang ups about it, but I'm not sure I would ever let go of all restrictions in this area, at least while they are young. This is something that radical unschoolers do--no limits on tv, games, food, etc., and I really admire and understand this perspective. I am just not sure I will get there or if I want to get there when it comes to food.
Wow, much more to say on this subject, and will probably post again. Wasn't this supposed to be about Halloween?
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