Marvelous McConnells: claire and patrick

"By nature people are learning animals. Birds fly; fish swim; humans think and learn. Therefore, we do not need to motivate children into learning by wheedling, bribing, or bullying. We do not need to keep picking away at their minds to make sure they are learning. What we need to do - and all we need to do - is to give children as much help and guidance as they need and ask for, listen respectfully when they feel like talking, and then get out of the way. We can trust them to do the rest."

John Holt

People often ask me if I had a religion before 1986, and I say yes--it was " my children should pick up their socks." This was my religion, and I was totally devoted to it, even though it never worked. Then, one day, after the work was alive in me, I realized that it simply wasn't true. The reality was that day after day, theyleft their socks on the floor, after all of my years of preaching and nagging them. I saw that I was the one who should pick up the socks if I wanted them picked up. My children were perfectly happy with their socks on the floor. Who had the problem? It was me. It was my thoughts about the socks on the floor that had made my life difficult, not the socks themselves. And who had the solution? Again, me. I realized that I could be right, or I could be free. It took just a few moments for me to pick up the socks, without any thought of my children. And an amazing thing began to happen. I realized that I loved picking up their socks. It was for me, not for them. It stopped being a chore in the moment, and it became a pleasure to pick them up and see the uncluttered floor. Eventually, they noticed my pleasure and began to pick up the socks on their own, without my having to say anything.

--byron katie

Marvelous McConnells

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Sunday, November 16, 2008

claire and patrick

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